We just came back from our vacation together. It was exactly what we needed. 2 nights in a little hand built cabin in the middle of a snow covered cherry farm, a wood furnace, games, and a couple of our favorite movies playing in the background. We spent our mornings drinking tea, and ate food that didn’t make a big mess. We went hiking We hated to leave so soon, but at least we know now that we have a haven to escape to, and that it can rejuvenate us more than we knew we needed.
You told me yesterday on our first full day of being home that I was having the post vacation blues. Turns out I had a kidney stone…
We’ve been dating for almost 12 years, married for 7 1/2 years, have two children (and a dog), own our own business, and work together every single day. You’d think I’d be sick of him (or vise versa) but we are completely best friends, and even more in love. This is what I’ve learned along the way to make our life run a little *more* smoothly. Pobody’s nerfect.
- We have to communicate, well. We’re not afraid to tell each other when we’re upset. (This is mostly me if I’m honest…) But we don’t just leave it at that and walk away expecting the other person to fix it. We work at it together, getting to the root of the problem.
- We have to be fair. We fight fair, but we also treat each other with an equal amount of respect. We see and understand what each other has to put up with on their side of the jobs. We get when one person might need a break more than the other and are willing to take action to make sure they feel refreshed. Even if that means one of us gets an extra night out every once in a while with their friends.
- You are my ally, and I am yours. We are the only people on this great green earth that knows what we’re going through. No one knows what goes into our marriage, children, and business. If we are fighting, we’re down our one and only ally. Which is why we fight for sure a short amount of time.
- We don’t have to hold high expectations for the other person. This one might sound slightly mean, but I mean it in the best way. When I’m having a horrible day and can’t get the kitchen cleaned for the 100th time that day, or the rest of the house for that matter, you look past the mess. You either don’t mind in the moment or step in and help. Even though we own a food business, we both don’t expect to always eat like our clients do. Cereal or grilled cheese sandwiches makes for a great dinner because that means we don’t have to clean up after and we can sit on the couch together a little longer that night. The fact that your expectations of me are basically non existent takes so much stress off of me. Does that sound weird? But, I love that you still find me sexy in sweat pants.
- We need to adjust to each others downsides instead of trying to change them. Your socks on the floor is still the best illustration and my greatest battle. I have learned to laugh about picking them up all throughout the house, and be grateful that you’re still here for me to be able to pick them up. I would miss them if you were gone. You’ve learned that a clean house will greatly decrease my stress. And it’s even rubbed off on you a bit, sometimes. (Sorry, not sorry.)
- We come before the kids. We give the kids a good amount of attention, but our time together is ultimately more important, and early bed times happen without guilt so we can spend an extra hour alone together. Date nights come before children play dates.
- Date nights do not have to be extravagant. While it’s great to splurge on each other and go somewhere fancy, I love that we love to play games by the fire and drink tea late into the night. Or binge watching Poldark in bed and eat our children’s candy stash.
- I saved the best for last. Our relationship with Christ is more important than our relationship with each other. When our relationship with him is better, our marriage will be at its best.
We’ve had quite a year. With starting a new venture in the business, and watching the growth (and growing pains) of the business, it’s worn us out. But honestly, it was all doable. I was overwhelmed at times, but the times where I was stressed, you calmed me down. There were days where I had to do the same for you, but you showed me how first. You work hard for our family. You’ve put your literal blood, sweat, and tears into everything we have. You’re who I look up to, and strive myself to be better for. You bring out the best of me. We’re far from perfect, but that just means we have the next 70 years to work towards perfecting it. Alright that’s enough being sappy. I have to go clean up our child’s wadded up tissues strewn all around the house. Love it. (Could you hear my eyes rolling?) We’ll miss these days someday, right?
But first, lets sit and look at a few pictures from our stay at the cabin. (Thanks to Mike and Heidi at Rocky Top Farms in Ellsworth! They have made a little slice of heaven here in Michigan!)
Remember, a bowl of vegetables with someone you love is better than a steak with someone you hate. -proverbs 15:17