Today did not start out well.
Between whining kids, hurried schedules, being late to church, and a messy house, I was at my limit. I came back home and sat in the car with The Chef and told him everything that needed to be done before Christmas, and realized how hectic this week was going to be. I was completely overwhelmed. I wanted to have special times with the kids, doing something Christmassy each day, and knew that we would only have maybe two nights, including this night, without something going on before we started traveling. I was so bummed. I started planning on what we could do tonight immediately. Christmas light show! Perfect. Jeremiah would love it!
Only to find out he did not love it. He wanted to stay home and play games and watch Christmas movies while eating popcorn. “Uh no,” I replied. “We could do that anytime. Let’s do something special.” Desperately clinging onto my having a special moment each night with the kids idea. He, however, was not going for it. The Chef started to push the idea more, and the 4 year old quickly pushed back. Tensions were getting high and I started to see my perfect night slipping away. “Let’s just not go. I don’t want to force it,” I stated. Attitude half blazing. “He’ll love it!” offered The Chef. In the midst, 8 month old Charlotte started crying, having just woken up from her nap. I picked her up and sat her down in my lap in front of the roaring fire, which was going unnoticed amongst the drama. Now, I’m not a singer, and very rarely do I sing when anyone is around unless there’s music going on in the background, foreground, and all around. I can carry a tune, but that’s about it, and I’d rather have people with real talent showcase themselves. But, for one of the first times since The Chef and I have been together, I decided some spontaneous accapella Christmas carols were needed. I sang to Charlotte, and seeing us snuggle, Jeremiah came and put his head in my lap as I sang softly by the fire and Christmas tree. Within a song he had fallen asleep.
My mood which had been sour all day quickly changed. My grinchy heart grew three sizes. In trying to make a special moment happen, I almost missed out on an even more special moment: singing to my kids in our cozy home with our own Christmas lights. Not all special moments are perfectly put together, but perfect moment can simply be stumbled upon. Forcing something to happen can make you miss out on something even greater. (Which I think can be said for a lot more than just “moments”… take that in how it hits you.)
Sit back and have the merriest of christmas’ ever! And maybe sing a carol or two, no matter how shortly you carry a tune.
– The Wife