If you have hung out with me for more than 30 seconds, you probably know that burgers are my all time favorite food, of all the food in all the land. I love burgers. I seriously contemplated (and its still isn’t out of my mind) starting a burger blog for comparisons on all the burgers I’d eat (complete with a checklist), what makes a good burger, and the making of my ultimate burgers at home. Today is one part of that dream.
One of The Chef’s favorite stories to tell about me, is how he took me to this fancy restaurant when we were were dating. It was the kind of place that had a dress code requirement, and served hot towels after service. I took one look at the menu and asked “do you have any burgers?” There I was, nice dress and everything, chowing down a nice juicy burger. Can I get a youdoyou, girl!
A burger may leave the girl, but the girl will never leave the burger.
Ok that was disgustingly hilarious. I’m chuckling at myself, by myself, in my office. I might delete that line. I don’t know if I can push publish.
Oh well, lets do this thing.
The other day I was watching this show that had an ultimate burger on it. A $700 burger that had a lobster tail as a topping. LOBSTER TAIL. Come on now! The next day I told The Chef that we needed to go shopping for our own ultimate burger. Obviously he loved the idea and we hunkered down to think of what we would want on our ultimate burger. Can I just tell you that was one of the most fun conversations I’ve ever had about food? By the end my mouth was drooling like a 6 month old teething baby, and my stomach was calling ollie-ollie-in-come-free to all whales in the western hemisphere. I decided that I wanted crab claw and crabs legs, drenched in butter and sautéed, with homemade haystack onions, fresh lettuce, cheese (obvi), and The Chef’s garlic/lemon/old bay aioli. The Chef wanted a pound (A FLIPPING POUND) of bacon, deep fried jalapeño’s, haystack onions, lettuce, cheese, refrigerated pickles, and Siracha aioli. There’s a fine line between a gourmet burger, and a burger that’s more like a conglomerate of toppings on a minced steak in-between two pieces of dense bun. Nonono. I don’t care who you are, how expensive it is, what you put on it, your burger still needs to go back to the basics on some level. I’m talking american cheese, juicy patties, thick enough to taste, but thin enough to not overpower the rest of the meal. (I personally like the thinnest that man can smash, but I know that’s not everyones cup o tea.) So off we went to the various places around town to gather the creme de la creme of ingredients. If you’re going to do it, do it right. Brioche buns from Nantucket Bakery, organic chuck and tenderloin to ground up, prosciutto for flavor, thick cuts of bacon, fresh “never frozen” crab legs, the most american of all cheeses.
My mouth is watering again. And this won’t help…
The Chef basketweave his bacon so it would all stay together when he stuffed his face. Baking it in the oven on a piece of parchment paper is a great way for perfectly crisp bacon. It also reduces the smoke and bacon smell in your house. *two thumbs up from this girl*
We ground up organic chuck and tenderloin for a mixture of leanness and fat for “ultimate” flavor. Here is The Child learning how burger is made. It was basically school for him, so this was extra beneficial for everyone. He proudly states “I’m doing the cow part!” *insert vegetarians and vegan’s aww’s and sad faces.* I can’t think about it too much or I won’t like burgers. Meat comes from the ground right? Everything is fine. Please no nasty emails….
The meat was seasoned with oil, worcestershire, garlic powder, salt and pepper. Then slapped together to elongate the meat proteins and help it bind. *thumbs up*
Um. Has a sight ever been more glorious?! That crab is going on my burger!!!
Homemade deep fried onion straws. Because The Chef’s are way better than French’s. (Way to go babe!)
Mayo, lemon, garlic, old bay aioli that was to DIE for. How can someone make something so delicious out of common food ingredients? It’s almost maddening. But not really because I get to eat them.
Picture below is The Chef’s burger. Made with two patties (thin one’s with a slice of cheese each), deep fried onion straws, deep friend jalapeño’s, and POUND of bacon. He said the first couple bites all he could taste was bacon. And he loved it. *The Chef would also like to state that the burger is featuring four types of vegetables on the burger, so it’s basically a salad. It counterbalances the bacon. Thank you*
We toasted the buns for crispness, but it also steams them too, so you get this soft, pillowy, warm bun. It’s surprising how much it changed from when it was room temp. I’ve seen Five Guys do it and I always wondered why they’re buns are so good. Now I know.
Pictured below is my burger…. In all of it’s GLORY!!! The crab legs, crab claw, two patties (thin but with a slice of cheese each), deep fried onion straws, and his ridiculous aioli. It makes me want to cry. TEARS OF JOY.
Now the fun part for you. What would you have on your ultimate burger?? We love hearing fun topping ideas!! Comment below!
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-The Everyday Chef and Wife